Lea is one of four Impact students from Germany currently spending a “gap year” at Liebenzell USA’s main campus. She participates in discipleship classes, engages in various opportunities for spiritual growth, social, and cultural activities, and serves within the Retreat Ministry—primarily in housekeeping. In a series of monthly blogs, Lea has kindly offered to share about her journey with Jesus.
Hi there, it’s Lea.
My story from last month continues…
I was part of the Youth Group now, but in the beginning, I kind of still wore my “mask,” and I just couldn’t or didn’t want to believe and accept most of the things that were taught.
Why?
Because my heart had already become so hard, and I had this inner rebellion against God. Part of me simply didn’t want the Bible to be true because it condemned me and my actions. That meant I would have had to change (or allow myself to be changed) to call myself a Christian. And that, in turn, meant letting go of certain things in my life—sins that separated me from God because I didn’t want to give them up, but was almost desperately holding on to them (Hebrews 4:12). On top of that, there were also these many, many questions of understanding, to which I had no answers, but at the same time, I wanted to understand everything right away.
I am totally convinced that there can be direct changes of the heart through the Lord. But that was not my path. Especially through many conversations with the other young people in the youth group, through openly asking my critical questions, through reading Christian literature, through the feeling of community, joint activities, and encouragements to read the Bible regularly, God changed my heart, my thinking, and my actions piece by piece.
Am I now perfect, all-knowing, and on fire for Jesus every day?
No, not at all.
Unfortunately, I still sin, still have unanswered questions that I might never get answers to, and sometimes just don’t feel like reading the Bible or spending time with God.
We are sanctified through Christ, but we still live in a fallen world.
But do not be discouraged! HE will give you the strength, the hope, the peace, the joy, the grace you need! As Paul says in Romans 6:11: “In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus.”. If I’ve learned anything, it’s this: I have to choose Jesus day after day again!!
Have YOU acknowledged Jesus as Lord in and over your life, or just as the Savior who comes in handy when things get tough? And if you have accepted Christ as Lord over all areas of your life, do you choose Him anew every day?
I want to encourage you, because the journey of faith is not a sprint, but a marathon. You will grow over time!
Thank you for joining me as I’ve shared the joy in my journey.
