Lea is one of four Impact students from Germany currently spending a “gap year” at Liebenzell USA’s main campus. She participates in discipleship classes, engages in various opportunities for spiritual growth, social, and cultural activities, and serves within the Retreat Ministry—primarily in housekeeping. In a series of monthly blogs, Lea has kindly offered to share about her journey with Jesus.
Hi there, it’s Lea again!
You remember the last part of my previous story where I had the first encounter with the youth group? Here’s the rest of the story:
I gathered all my courage, took the step and joined the youth group. If you’re like me, and find it difficult to integrate into a larger group where you’re new and don’t know anyone, it can be quite a challenge. But my worries weren’t needed because I was welcomed with open arms and felt really accepted. Still, it took me some time to truly feel at home in the group.
Soon after I joined, my youth group and I went on a youth retreat, and during that retreat, I experienced God in a completely new way. I began to understand what it really means to be forgiven and, most importantly, to forgive others! Where I once felt anger and bitterness, I was able to choose to forgive. After all, I was a sinner too and needed forgiveness! Who am I to not forgive those who have hurt me when I, too, make mistakes every day and sin against the Lord?!
Forgiveness is primarily a decision, not a feeling. It doesn’t mean that everything goes back to normal or that things continue as if nothing happened. But forgiveness means letting go of all the hate and bitterness towards someone and surrendering it to God.
After years of holding on to unforgiveness, I was able to forgive a certain person in my life. It wasn’t easy, believe me. It was painful. For me, it was—and sometimes still is—a process where God changed the attitude of my heart, piece by piece.
Somebody once said: “Holding on to anger and bitterness against someone is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” In the end, you mainly harm yourself through unforgiveness and destroy your peace with God. Jesus says in Matthew 6:14,15: “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
But… joining the youth group didn’t mean I suddenly had a super strong faith, had all the answers to my many questions or that everything was perfect now—no, not at all.
